hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
