I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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