i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
