Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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