just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
