she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
