Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
