this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
