People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
