I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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