another moral hangover. fuck.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
