If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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