I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
