i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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