im gay
i know
yea but for you.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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