An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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