I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
