Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
