Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
