but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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