i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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