I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
