I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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