Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
whose parrot is this?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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