Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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