i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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