remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
