it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
