Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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