Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
not ubering you a puppy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
