his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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