I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
