I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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