Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
