I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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