I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
