i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
