And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
