He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
