garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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