I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
