My brain says no but my pants say off.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i out mim tonsoeep
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