Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
someone owes me an orgasm
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
