We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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