On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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