forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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