He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
