My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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