Dual....:-)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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