You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
