chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
